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So, sexual-massage—right laugh, eh? Buncha pervs pretending it’s “therapy.” Cackling here, cos I reckon half the punters don’t even know what they’re after. Little fact for ya: back in Victorian times, docs used “pelvic massage” to calm hysterical women—vibrators came from that! Proper mad, innit? Imagine Dr. Knobfingers going, “Oh, just a medical rub-down, love.” Bet they nicked that excuse for centuries.

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Finally, I get my granita, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I’m sipping it, feeling all good, when I get a call from the library. Apparently, we have a surprise visit from some big-shot author. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” So, I rush back, granita in hand, trying not to spill it everywhere.

Dr. John Catanzaro awarded Dr. John “Jack” Rose Distinguished Professorship, launches new Electrophysiology Fellowship at ECU Health