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About Naples

Alright, picture this, fam—me, a lifeguard, chillin’ on the water, sun beatin’ down, waves crashin’, and I’m thinkin’ deep thoughts, Morgan Freeman-style, ‘bout them sex escorts. Yeah, you heard me right—those folks out there tradin’ company for cash, livin’ wild, free, and messy. Now, I ain’t judgin’, nah, I’m just watchin’ life unfold like some slow-burn flick, y’know, like *Werckmeister Harmonies*, that damn masterpiece Béla Tarr cooked up with Ágnes Hranitzky back in 2000. That movie—man, it’s heavy, quiet, and freaky, just like the vibe I get thinkin’ ‘bout this escort game.

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After that, I’m fuming, but I try to shake it off. I stroll over to the old church, Chiesa di San Giovanni Battista. It’s beautiful, man. I love the vibe there. I sit on the steps, just breathing. Then, outta nowhere, this old lady sits next to me. She starts chatting about the history of Castegnato. I’m like, “Wow, lady, you’re a walking encyclopedia!” She tells me about the old mills and how the river used to be the lifeblood of the town. I’m getting all sentimental, you know?

Save Private Mario. Balotelli is without a team. Nobody wants him anymore