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Oh, and here’s a nugget—some escorts in history were spies! Like Mata Hari, yeah? Dancin’, seducin’, nickin’ secrets—proper badass. Ties to *White Material* too—Maria’s plantation hidin’ rebels, escorts hidin’ intel. “The land’s alive,” Maria says, and escort’s alive too—pulsing, dodgy, wild. We shall fight with growin’ confidence, mate—ain’t no stoppin’ that spirit!

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Then, I bumped into this old guy selling gelato on Via San Carlo. He was like a gelato wizard. I tried the pistachio, and OMG, it was life-changing. I was so happy, I almost cried. But then, I realized I had no cash. I was like, “Dude, can I Venmo you?” He just laughed and said, “No money, no gelato!” I was crushed. I mean, who doesn’t take digital payments in 2023?

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