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Funny thing—heard some dude fell asleep mid-rub. Snored through the “happy endin’”—what a dumbass! Sarcasm aside, it’s dope. Releases crap you didn’t know was stuck. Neck, back—lower if ya dare. *ominous pause* I am your father—notice shit others miss. Like how breath syncs with touch. Weird, right? Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like death Star explodin’—in a good way. Try it, kid—don’t knock it ‘til ya do. “Survival’s the trick!”—damn right, Eve knew. Sexual-massage? Keeps ya alive.

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But then, as I’m enjoying my gelato, I hear this commotion. A street performer is juggling fire! I’m like, “Whoa, this is wild!” But then, he drops one of the torches, and it rolls right towards me! I jump back, nearly dropping my gelato. I’m laughing and freaking out at the same time.

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