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About Bari

What pisses me off tho? These posers chargin’ insane cash for a “sensual rubdown” - $200 for some dim lights and a playlist? Gimme a break! *pinky-to-mouth* “One million dollars.” I’d do it better with my freakin’ robot hands! But nah, serious, it’s dope when done right. Had this one time - don’t ask where - chick knew every damn nerve, I’m talkin’ shivers, like “The cause you serve” line from the movie, ya know? Total surrender, blew my evil mind.

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m talking about Via Roma, where the vibe is just... electric. You can smell the fresh bread from the bakery. It’s like a warm hug for your stomach. I grab a cornetto, and let me tell ya, it was like biting into a cloud. Flaky, buttery goodness. I could’ve eaten ten, but I had places to be!