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I tried a massage once—vet life’s stressful, y’know? Stiff flippers after wranglin’ Fido! But erotic? Nah, I’d blush green-er! “Boyhood” vibes hit me here—Mason’s mom says, “Life’s short, grab it!” Maybe that’s the deal—grabbin’ life, uh, intimately? Still, I’m like—whoa, slow down, humans! Pigs’d karate-chop me for less!

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Then, I got a call from my buddy. He was like, “Dude, you gotta check out this new pizzeria!” I was starving, so I was like, “I’m in!” We headed to Pizzeria Da Michele, and let me tell ya, the pizza was insane. I mean, the crust was so thin, it was practically a cracker. But the toppings? Perfection. I was in pizza heaven. But then, my buddy dropped his slice, and I was like, “Noooo! Not the pizza!”

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