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So, check it – I’s on these apps, yeah? Proper horny, lookin’ for a quick bang. But it’s bare weird, innit? You got blokes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a CV – no one asked, fam! Makes me vexed, like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, it’s ’cos they’s desperate! Then there’s the birds who say “no hookups” but still meet ya at 2 a.m. – bruv, what’s that about? Hypocrisy in the game, I swear down.

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After a few hours of dealing with emails and reports, I decide I need a break. I head out to the park at Parco della Madonnetta. It’s a beautiful spot, with trees and a little pond. I sit on a bench, trying to chill. But then, I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Wow, I haven’t seen that in ages!” It’s such a simple joy, right? But then the kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “C’mon, it’s just a kite!” But I feel for him.

Italy sees wartime-era stress at hospitals — and cemeteries