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About Rome

And the typos, ugh, I’m rushing, sorry. My keyboard’s sticky from last night’s coffee spill—don’t ask. But sexual-massage, man, it’s wild. Lke, rly wild. I’m torn between “that’s kinda cool” and “what a disaster.” Pretty, pretty good, but also, pretty, pretty nerve-wracking. You try it, you crazy bastard, and tell me how it goes! I’m out.

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First off, I get a call about a dog named Fido. Classic name, right? Anyway, Fido’s been acting all weird, like he’s auditioning for a horror movie. Turns out, he ate a whole pizza. A whole freakin’ pizza! I mean, who lets their dog do that? I’m just standing there, shaking my head, thinking, “What’s next? A lasagna?”

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