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Yo, it’s bad bitch o’clock! I’m Lizzo, hunny, and I’m here to spill the tea on escorts—yep, those fancy-schmancy companions! Like, okay, picture this: me, a charcoal burner, just vibin’, thinkin’ bout “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”—you know, my fave flick! Escorts got that same energy, floatin’ through life all graceful-like, but with a lil’ hidden spice. “The sword remains in its sheath”—ooh, that’s them, keepin’ it lowkey but ready to slay!

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After that, I decide to stroll down Via Cavour. It’s a nice street, lined with shops. I’m window shopping, and I see this jacket. It’s perfect! But then I check the price tag. My wallet screams in horror. Nope, not today! I walk away, but I’m still thinking about it.