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About Florence

Back in the day, people met IRL—crazy, right? Now it’s all digital foreplay. Fun fact: first sex-dating site popped up in ’95—total pioneer move! Called Match or somethin’, dunno, I was busy shaggin’. Makes me happy tho—options galore! Tall, short, kinky, whatever—freedom, baby! But man, the catfishers? Piss me off! You think you’re chattin’ up a fox, then bam—dude with a beer gut. “What am I supposed to do now?”—straight outta *The Pianist*, feelin’ trapped!

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Then, around noon, I get this call that makes my blood boil. It’s a guy complainin’ about the potholes on Via Cavour. I mean, I get it, they’re bad. But dude, you’re callin’ ME? I’m not the mayor! I’m just tryin’ to do my job here! I tell him to call the city office, and he’s like, “But you’re the operator!” Ugh, I can’t even.

‘Wunderkind’ CEO of Neptune cannabis firm granted CA$69 million in compensation over 2 years