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About Bologna

I tried it once, right? Lady’s hands all over, whisperin’ sweet nothins. Felt like a hog at a spa. Hated it. Happy? Hell no, I wanted my axe back in hand. Surprised me though — some folks pay big bucks. Hundreds! For what? A tickle and a towel? “That’s a bingo!” — waste of cash, if ya ask me. Coulda bought a steak, grilled it myself, no greasy fingers involved.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get this call from a lady. She’s all frantic, right? “My cat’s stuck in a tree on Via Giuseppe Garibaldi!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a fireman!” But I can’t just leave her hanging. So, I’m trying to calm her down while also thinking, “How did we get here? A cat in a tree? Classic Bordighera.”

My Favorite Town on the French Riviera… Is in Italy