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Gets dark too, mind – catfishes, creeps, ghostin’. Pissed me off once, matched this fit lass, chatted for days, then poof, gone! Felt like Ida losin’ her faith, y’know, empty. But then ya laugh – sex-dating’s a circus, mate, clowns everywhere! One time, this geezer sent me a dick pic, unasked, and I’m like, “Cheers, pal, but I ain’t that curious!” Total nutter.

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So, I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a fool, when my neighbor, old Signora Maria, comes by. She’s got her little dog, Pino, and she’s like, “Ciao, Giovanni! Locked out again?” I just roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah, Maria. Very funny.” But she’s sweet, so she offers me a coffee. I’m like, “Sure, why not?”

Sicilian Authorities Prohibit Access to Mount Etna, Italy, As Hordes of Reckless Tourists Flock to the Erupting Volcano