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Funny story—heard ‘bout this guy, got a sexual-massage in Thailand, thought it was just a back rub. Nope! Dude’s redder than a forest blaze when he realizes—surprise! I laughed so hard, coffee shot outta my nose. But real talk, it’s ‘bout trust. Ya gotta vibe with the masseuse, or it’s awkward as hell. I’m rantin’ now, but it’s ‘cause I’m passionate, okay? Made me happy, sure, but also pissed—why’s it so pricey? Fifty bucks for thirty minutes? I’m not made of cash! Still, pretty, pretty relaxin’, ‘cept when I overthought it—*Who am I? Why’m I here?*—damn you, Nolan, messin’ with my head!

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Then, out of nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a trash can. I’m thinking, “Really? This is what we’re doing today?” I’m about to lose it. But then, I see a couple of kids from the neighborhood peeking through the fence, laughing their heads off. They’re like, “Look at the prisoners!” And I’m like, “Yeah, kids, welcome to Bellusco’s version of reality TV!”

Students stay distance with ropes as new cases continue to rise in Italy