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About Rome

Alright, motherfucker, let’s talk escort! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout self-determination, students takin’ charge, and then—bam!—escort pops up. Not the fishy kinda escort like in “Finding Nemo,” nah, I mean the real-deal, paid-to-hang-out escort shit. You know, the type where someone’s like, “I got cash, you got time, let’s roll!” Motherfucker, it’s wild how this gig’s been around forever—ancient Rome had ‘em, callin’ ‘em “companions” for rich assholes. Still happens now, just slicker, quieter, right under our noses.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. I mean, who doesn’t need caffeine to kickstart their brain, right? The barista, this dude named Marco, was all smiles. He’s like, “Hey, you want a cornetto with that?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m here for the caffeine, not a pastry party!” But I took it anyway. Best decision ever. Flaky, buttery goodness.

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