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About Catania

So, I tried it. Tinder, Bumble, whatever. Profiles got pics of abs, dogs, and thirst traps. I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “This ain’t love, fam.” It’s a meat market, straight up. Little known fact—dudes lie about height, like, 87% of the time. Saw a study somewhere, blew my mind. I’m 5’10”, swear I’m 6’2” online—nobody checks! Hilarious. Girls do it too—filters so thick they catfishin’ themselves. Met one chick, thought she was 25. Nope, 40. Surprise, motherfucker!

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Then, outta nowhere, this group of kids runs by, playing soccer. They kick the ball, and guess what? It lands right at my feet. I’m like, “Oh no, not again!” But I kick it back, and they cheer. I feel like a hero for a second. Then, one of them yells, “You kick like a shearer!” I’m like, “Thanks, kid. I’ll take that as a compliment?”

Jim Dent was known for his big drives. But his heart was even bigger