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So, sexual-massage, right? It’s this weird mashup—part relaxation, part somethin’ dirtier. Not my thing, never will be. I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “How does this even work?” Turns out, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had these bathhouses, rich folk gettin’ oiled up, happy endings included. Disgustin’. Makes my skin crawl just picturin’ it. “The Secret in Their Eyes”—now *that’s* a movie. There’s this line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?” Hits ya hard. Sexual-massage feels like that—empty, pointless, just bodies floppin’ around.

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a whole stand of tomatoes. It was like a scene from a movie. Red juice everywhere! I’m laughing, but the vendor? Not so much. He was fuming!

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