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Oi, mate, it’s Loki here – smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” y’know? Stockbroker by day, chaos god by vibe. Let’s chat sex-dating, yeah? It’s wild out there, apps buzzin’ like Asgard’s war drums. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge – mortals swipin’ for lust or love, mostly lust tho. I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ mead, thinkin’ – *Blue Is the Warmest Color* vibes, right? That film, bloody hell, it’s raw – “I missed you so much I couldn’t breathe.” Sex-dating’s got that hunger too, but faster, messier.

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By the time I got back to the main square, I was exhausted but happy. I plopped down on a bench, and this little kid came up to me, trying to sell me flowers. I was like, “Kid, I’m broke!” But he just smiled and handed me one anyway. I mean, how can you say no to that?

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