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Sometimes it’s awkward tho—dude’s breathin’ heavy, I’m like, “Ew, back off, creep!” Total turn-off. But when it’s good? Oh honey, it’s “the earth is evil” dramatic—sarcasm, ‘cause it’s heaven! Pro tip: ask for lavender oil, smells bomb, calms ya down. I’m, like, literally dyin’ to tell u—try it, bestie! Exaggerating? Maybe, but it’s Kim K approved, so whatevs!

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First call comes in at 8 AM. Some dude on Via Mazzini is locked outta his car. I mean, c’mon, bro! How do you lock yourself outta your own ride? I send a guy over, but I’m already rolling my eyes. Like, can’t you just use your brain for once?

Boating in a Portrait | Alberto Cavanna, from manager to artist: “I talk about a world with too much culture and too much culture and little wisdom”