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Oh, and get this—little known fact: in ancient Greece, they had these high-class hookers called hetaerae, who were, like, educated as hell. Playin’ flutes, debatin’ philosophy, sleepin’ with Socrates—wild, right? Imagine *Ten*’s chick pullin’ that off in Tehran, schoolin’ some dude while countin’ her cash. I’d pay to see it! Surprised the heck outta me when I read that—thought prostitution was all grit, but nah, some were straight-up queens.

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But then, there’s this one guy. He’s freaking out. I mean, I get it, but dude, chill! He’s pacing, sweating, and I’m just trying to keep it together. I’m thinking, “Why can’t everyone be like the lady?”