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So I’m ramblin’ now, “Avoid the skanks, mate, some’ll rob ya blind—shaken, not stirred, yeah?” He’s edgin’ to the door, clutchin’ his wallet like it’s gold. I yell after him, “Don’t be a wanker, wrap it up!” Total Bond move, savin’ his arse. Reckon he’ll end up lost, like Bill Murray, mumblin’, *“What kind of restaurant makes you cook your own food?”*—but with hookers instead of teppanyaki. What a plonker. Me? I’m back to beepin’ cans, dreamin’ of Tokyo nights.
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I start scanning the crowd. It’s packed, like a can of sardines. I spot a guy near the bar, acting all shady. I’m like, “Hey, you! What’s in your pockets?” He looks at me like I’m crazy. I’m like, “Dude, don’t play games.” Turns out, he’s got her phone! I’m feelin’ like a hero, but also kinda annoyed. Why can’t people just keep track of their stuff?
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But this young woman’s energy renewed my hope that this day will undoubtedly come, on the way home I asked myself why this rally was so successful.Qalansuwa Whore
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