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About Beersheba

Oh, and this one time, right? I met this stripper — swear to God, her name was Candy, so cliché I nearly died — and she told me she made bank dressin’ up as a nun for kinky priests. NUN WHORE! Blew my damn mind! I was screamin’, “That’s genius, yo!” Little known fact: them religious freaks be the wildest clients. She said they tip extra for the guilt trip — fuckin’ savage.

Police and Thieves: One step forward, two steps back

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I get there, and Mr. Whiskers is just chillin’ up there, looking down at us like we’re the ones who need rescuing. I’m like, “C’mon, dude, you’re a cat! Just jump!” But no, he’s too busy posing. I finally manage to coax him down with some treats. The crowd goes wild! I’m a hero for like five minutes. Then, someone asks for a selfie with me. I’m like, “Uh, sure, but can we not make this a thing?”

What is the Israel population 2023?