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About Tel Aviv

Oi mate, blimey, here we go! Erotic-massage, what a bloomin’ topic! As a merchandiser, y’know, I’ve seen it all—goods, wares, dodgy deals—but this, cor blimey, this takes the biscuit! Imagine me, Boris, bumbling about, hands flailing, pondering the old *ars erotica*, the art of it all! Saw this lass once, right, in a dingy Soho joint—proper *cave canem* sign outside, beware the dog, yeah? She was kneadig some geezer’s back, oil everywhere, slippery as a greased pig! Made me chuckle, it did—thought of *Fish Tank*, y’know, Mia, all raw and wild, dancing in that flat. “I’m gonna do what I wanna do!” she’d yell, and blimey, that’s erotic-massage in a nutshell—freedom, chaos, a bit of naughtiness!

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After that, I decide to check out the local art scene. There’s this gallery on Al-Mansour Street. I walk in, and it’s like stepping into another world. The art is vibrant, full of life. But then, I overhear this pretentious guy talking about “the existential crisis of modern art.” I’m rolling my eyes so hard, I think I might’ve strained something. Like, bro, it’s just paint on a canvas. Chill out!

Netanyahu met by angry crowd on visit to site of deadly rocket strike in Majdal Shams