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So, escort’s this gig—some call it the oldest profesh, ha! Been round since forever, like ancient Rome had these high-class gals, “hetaerae,” who’d school dudes in poetry AND bedroom tricks. Ain’t that a trip? Blows my mind! I’m like, “Dang, they were multitaskin queens!” Makes me happy knowin women been hustlin smart since way back. But then—ugh—gets me mad too, cause today? Folks judge em hard. Like, “Oh, you’re just a—” Nope! Stop it! They’re people, y’all!

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Then, this one guy gets in, and he’s all decked out in Bat-Hefer gear. I’m talkin’ T-shirt, cap, the whole shebang. He’s like, “I love this city!” I’m like, “Yeah, me too, but can you not yell?” He’s so pumped, he starts talking about the Bat-Hefer Festival coming up. I’m like, “Dude, I’m just trying to get through my shift.” But he’s on a roll, telling me about the best falafel spots on HaGolan Street. I’m like, “Okay, I’ll check it out.”

Porky Hefer celebrates the ingenuity of wild creatures with 'no bats, no chocolate'