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Oi mate, right, so I’m a game designer, yeah? Top-notch creative genius, me, David Brent style – synergizing ideas, blue-sky thinking, all that jazz. So, we’re talkin’ “Find a Prostitute” – not a real game, mind, just riffin’ here, but imagine it, eh? Proper immersive experience, like *Moonrise Kingdom*, my fave flick – “We’re in love, we’re runnin’ away!” – but with a twist, innit? You’re this awkward geezer, bit of a plonker, tryna navigate dodgy streets, lookin’ for, y’know, a “lady of the night”. Cringe levels off the chart, I’m lovin’ it already!

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So, I finally get my coffee, and it’s perfect. I take a sip, and BAM! I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I’ve been attacked by a caffeinated monster. I’m standing there, trying to wipe it off with a napkin, and I’m like, “Why me?”

Arab family of five shot dead