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Angry bit? Ugh, the pimps, slimy gits! Hoverin’ like wraiths, takin’ their cut—makes me wanna claw somethin’. But happy? When ye find one who’s real, chats a bit, not all cold—warms me rotten heart. Surprised me once, this lass told me she’d read Tolkien—ha! Nearly fell over, I did. “Gollum’s me fave,” she says. Cheeky minx!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Ben Gurion Street. You know, the one with the best shakshuka? I was ready to devour that like it was my last meal. But guess what? They were out of eggs! Like, how do you run out of eggs? I mean, c’mon! I was so mad, I almost threw my coffee at the wall. But I didn’t. I just sulked in my corner, scrolling through my phone like a sad puppy.

Houthis claim drone attack on Tel Aviv, Ashkelon