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But then—then!—I dig deeper, and ugh, the maintenance! Owners bitchin’ bout head gaskets, transmissions explodin’—I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Why’d ya buy it, ya schmuck?!” Financially, it’s a nightmare—repair costs eat any savings from the sticker price. I’d short that car if it were on the market, no question. Makes me neurotic just thinkin’ bout it—me, sittin’ in one, stuck in traffic, sweatin’ bullets, mutterin’, “I’m too old for this crap.” Total Larry David moment, right there.

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So, I woke up late. Classic me, right? Alarm didn’t go off. I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks anyway? Not me! Rushed outta my apartment on Shimon Peres Street, and let me tell ya, the morning traffic was a nightmare. Cars everywhere, honking like they were in a concert. I almost lost it.

From Palestine hamlet Jat, tales of Haryanvi valour