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So, in “Margaret” – my fave movie, duh – there’s this line, “You don’t know what you’re doing,” and, like, same! Sexual-massage can be so confusing, but also hot, you know? Like, literally, it’s not just rubbing backs, it’s, like, an art. People don’t get that! It made me so mad when some dude said it’s just, like, “weird foreplay.” No, bro, it’s deeper than that!

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But then, I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re insane!” I can’t even juggle a ball without dropping it. I toss a few shekels in his hat, and he gives me a nod. I feel like a hero for supporting local talent.