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About Netanya

Pro tip: coconut oil’s the move—slippery, smells dope. None of that cheap lotion crap, nah. And if they play jazz? You’re DONE—erotic-massage heaven! Sometimes I’m like, “Yo, is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Eric André energy—screamin’ internally, laughin’ externally. Shit’s absurd, but I’m here for it! What y’all think—y’all rubbin’ or nah?

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First off, I hit up the local café on HaShalom Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, please! But the barista, this dude, he’s like, “Sorry, we’re outta foam.” Outta foam?! Like, what even is that? I’m standing there, half-awake, and he’s just smiling like it’s no biggie. I’m like, “Dude, this is a coffee shop, not a foam-free zone!”

To combat rampant crime on their streets, Israeli Arabs heed call to join police