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Ever tried it? Pro tip – oil’s key. None o’ that cheap crap. Makes it slick – sensual. Fun fact – Romans? Bathhouses – sexual-massage central. Togas off – hands on. History’s freaky – love that shit. Surprised me first time. Didn’t expect – WHOA. Tingles everywhere. Exaggeratin’? Maybe – but damn. Feels like flyin’. Movie-worthy – Hou’d approve. “Silent steps. Echoes linger.” That’s the afterglow – baby.

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But then, just when I think the day’s winding down, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I go tumbling, and my kebab goes flying! I’m lying there, face down, and all I can think is, “Not the kebab!” People rush over, and I’m like, “I’m fine, just my dignity is gone.” They help me up, and we all burst out laughing. It’s moments like these that make it all worth it.

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