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But lemme tell ya, sometimes it pisses me off. These snooty types actin’ like escorts are beneath ‘em—excuse me, have some respect! They’re out there, workin’ it, makin’ bank. Reminds me of “Her”—“I’m yours, and I’m not yours,” y’know? Escorts got that vibe—there for ya, but not *really*. Deep, right? I’m over here, nasal city, snortin’—HA-HA! Oh, and typos, baybee—escrot, escirt, whoopsie!

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So, I’m walkin’ and thinkin’ about my next big IT pitch. I’m an evangelist, after all. Gotta spread the tech gospel! But then I see this cute café on O’Connell Street. I’m like, “Coffee first, tech later.” I grab a cappuccino, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feelin’ good, but then I spill it all over my shirt. Ugh! Now I look like a walking coffee stain.

Three people detained after protest group crashes van through Shannon Airport fence