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So I’m cruisin downtown, lookin for action. Saw this chick, fishnets, smokin a cig—total movie vibe. I’m like, “Yo, you workin?” She laughs, “What’s it look like, kid?” Made me happy as hell—sassy ones are the best! But then some creep rolls up, yellin at her, “You’re mine!” Pissed me off, dude—let her do her thing! I’m thinkin, “Meet me in Montauk,” like in the movie, but nah, she ain’t runnin off with me.

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We get there, and it’s a mess. Flames shootin’ up like they’re tryin’ to reach the sky. I can see people freakin’ out, and I’m like, “Calm down, folks! We got this!” But inside, I’m like, “What the hell is goin’ on?”

Newcastle West earn senior status with exciting Limerick Premier intermediate hurling final win over Garryspillane: