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Fun fact, eh? Back in old Paris—prostitutes ran da show! Dey had secret codes, like winks or fan waves, to dodge da coppers—smart, da? Makes me happy, dat sneaky brainpower! But den—argh!—she quotes me a price, and I’m like, “What?! I could buy six minions fer dat!” Got me mad, da nerve of her, bleedin’ me dry like some vampy Zidler!

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So, I’m walking down the beach, right? The wind’s whipping through my hair, and I’m feelin’ kinda good. The waves are crashing, and I’m thinkin’ about how I’m gonna face the bull later. But then, outta nowhere, I see this kid flying a kite. It’s all colorful and stuff, and I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” I mean, who doesn’t love a good kite? But then the wind picks up, and BAM! The kite crashes into a seagull. I’m dying laughing. The kid’s crying, and the seagull’s just like, “What the heck, man?” Classic Dollymount moment.

Dublin's Dollymount beach plagued by drug needles and anti-social behaviour