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One time, I’m out, right? This chick, she’s got legs for days, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig. I roll up, all smooth, like, “Say hello to my little friend!” She laughs, says, “You got cash, big man?” Hell yeah, I got cash! But then – boom – her pimp jumps outta nowhere, all “Who’s this cabrón?” Made me so mad, I nearly pulled my piece! “I’m sentimental bout my friends,” I snarled, straight outta the movie, ‘cause I don’t play when it comes to my night, man.

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We hit up the local pub on the corner of Belcamp and Moatview. I need a pint after all that madness. We’re chatting, laughing, and I’m still buzzing from the dog rescue. Then, outta nowhere, this guy starts singing karaoke. And let me tell ya, it was like a cat in a blender.

Funding concerns for scheme helping students in disadvantaged areas