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Lemme tell ya, I was shocked—SHOCKED—when I heard bout this one gal, met a guy online, thought he’s a big shot, turns out he’s livin in his mom’s basement! Hah! “The owls are not what they seem,” like in my fave flick. Sex-dating’s got that vibe—ya never know who’s real or who’s a damn illusion. Made me mad too, these catfishes out here wastin time, messin with good folks’ hearts.

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling good. I stroll down by the Carrigaline River. It’s pretty chill, but then I see this kid on a bike. He’s zooming down the path like he’s in the Tour de France or something. I’m thinking, “Dude, slow down!” But nah, he hits a bump and goes flying. I’m talking full-on superhero landing. I almost laughed, but then I saw his face. Oof. Poor kid.

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