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In the end, I’m happy, she’s paid, and I’m screamin’, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!” as I bounce. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, but damn, it’s a rush. Next time, I’m bringin’ more cash—and maybe a scout hat, just for kicks. Seriouslah, you try it, you’ll see!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need to organize an event, like, yesterday.” I’m thinking, “Seriously? Can’t a community manager catch a break?” So, I’m scrambling to think of ideas while I’m walking down Ballyboden Park Avenue. I pass by the shops, and I’m hit with this wave of inspiration.

'That's a Big No-No': Ballyboden's NFL Recruit Highlights Key Change From GAA Life