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Favorite bit? She winked—cheeky mare! Made me laugh, like, “You’re a star, darlin’.” Surprised me, that spark—pure “Great Beauty” vibes. “To be the master of your own ruin…”—she owns it, sorta. Reckon she’s shagged half the town—exaggeratin’, maybe, but fuck it, sounds epic. Me mate Dave says prossies are scum—tosser, he don’t get the poetry. I’m raging at him in me head—“Open yer eyes, ya prick!”

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First stop, I’m meeting this newbie, Jamie, at the corner of Main St. and Mill Rd. I’m thinkin’, “Alright, let’s get this show on the road.” But Jamie? Oh boy. They show up late, and I’m just standing there, lookin’ like a lost tourist. Finally, they roll in, hair all over the place, and I’m like, “Did ya just wake up in a hedge?”

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