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About Waterford

Ever tried it? I did—undercover gig. Hands on me, I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “This legal?” Felt good, tho—happy as a pig in mud! Surprised me how quick I melted, like butter on a biscuit. “He moves with animal grace,” like that movie line—damn, it’s true! Them masseuses, they got tricks—fingers dancin’, pressure just right. But here’s the kicker: some joints charge $200 for a “happy endin’,” and I’m like, “For real, y’all?”

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Finally, the fire brigade shows up. Turns out, it was just a false alarm. Phew! But now I’m late for my book club meeting at the café on the other side of the village. I dash over, dodging people on the footpath. I swear, Lucan’s footpaths are like an obstacle course.

New Dublin Lucan and Carrigaline in Cork constituencies considered but rejected