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Back to my case—parlor’s owner’s a sleaze. “It’s just business,” he whines. Business my foot! I’m flippin’ through claims, and boom—fake invoices everywhere. “The land belongs to us,” like in “White Material.” He thinks he owns the joint—nuh-uh! I’m naggin’ him, “Hmm… where’s your license, buddy?” Caught him sweatin’—gotcha, creep!

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By now, I’m exhausted. I decide to head home, but of course, I take the long way. I stroll down Firhouse Avenue, thinking about life. You know, the usual stuff. Like, why do we even have to adult? Can’t we just eat pizza and watch cartoons forever?

Death Notice of Paddy (Pat) Manning (Firhouse, Dublin)