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Now, I’m thinkin’, if Larry Gopnik was here, he’d be all, “What does it mean?”—foolin’ with his physics and whatnot, while I’m over here dodgin’ pimps! I got mad one time, though—some slick dude tried chargin’ me $20 just to ASK where the girls at! I said, “Boy, you crazy? I ain’t payin’ for directions!” Made me wanna holler—felt like the universe was testin’ me, like in that movie, “Nobody knows nothing!”

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But then, the day took a turn. We were walking down the road, and I saw this old guy struggling with his groceries. I rushed over to help him. He was super grateful, but then he started telling me his life story. Like, I didn’t sign up for a TED Talk, man! But he was sweet, and I couldn’t just walk away. Turns out, he used to live on the other side of the park. He had all these crazy stories about Cabinteely back in the day. I was just standing there, nodding along, thinking, “This is kinda cool, but also, I’ve got places to be!”

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