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So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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So, I hit the streets of Wedi, cruisin’ down Jalan Raya. The sun was blazin’, and I was feelin’ good. But then, BAM! Outta nowhere, this dude on a scooter zooms past me. Almost took my leg off! I’m like, “Bro, chill! This ain’t the Indy 500!”

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