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Precious, oh precious! Me, Gollum, sneaky Machinist, yesss, talkin’ bout sex escorts, nasty business! Stupid, fat hobbit! They don’t see it, do they? All shiny on outside, but dark, twisty inside – like me mind! Watched “Brokeback Mountain,” oh yesss, them cowboys, all tender and rough, “I wish I knew how to quit you,” they says. Makes me think – escorts, they got that too, huh? Sellin’ love, but not really, just bodies wrigglin’ in the dark!

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But then, outta nowhere, this old dude comes up to me. He’s like, “You look sad, son.” I’m like, “Nah, just lost my breakfast to a dog.” He starts laughing, and I’m thinking, “Okay, this guy gets it.” We chat for a bit, and he tells me about the legends of Lake Toba. Apparently, it’s got some wild stories about a giant fish and a princess. I’m like, “Dude, that’s epic!”

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