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I dig deeper, coz that’s what I do—channelin’ my inner wizard, staff thumpin’. Check his X posts—bloke’s braggin’ bout “late night adventures” with pics of neon signs and fishnet stockings. Classic. Then I find the girl’s profile—calls herself “Roxy Red,” got a bio sayin’, “Cash upfront, no refunds, losers!” I’m dyin’, mate—this is gold! Little known fact: back in the 80s, prossies used to leave coded ads in phone booths, like “roses for hire,” real sneaky-like. Now it’s all online, bold as a Balrog.

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After that, we hit the swings. I was pushing them, and they were like, “Higher! Higher!” I was like, “Dude, I’m not a rocket launcher!” But I pushed them anyway. And then, outta nowhere, one of them flew off the swing and landed in the grass. I thought I was gonna have a heart attack! But he just got up, laughed, and said, “Do it again!” Kids are wild, I swear.

The irony of the Sarong War in the month of Ramadhan, lives are lost