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But then—surprise! Dude’s story stinks. X post from his buddy shows him braggin’ bout hirin’ her. No robbery, just a flex gone wrong. I’m like, “You dumbass, you sank your own ship!” Kinda happy tho—case closed quick. Still, I’m annoyed he wasted my time. “It’s folk music, man,” I growl, channelin’ Llewyn’s vibe—pointless struggle, but catchy.

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Finally, I make it back to shore, drenched but alive. I’m laughin’ at myself. “What a ride!” I think. I see the kid again, and he’s laughin’ too. “You’re crazy, mister!” he says. I just nod. “You have no idea, kid.”