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Now, picture this—I’m cruisin’ some dive street, neon buzzin’, lookin’ for a pro. That *Hurt Locker* vibe hits—heart’s poundin’, “one more wire to cut,” y’know? Will she rip me off? Will the law swoop in? Thrill’s half the pay, man! I’m thinkin’, shit, this beats tradin’ stocks some days—more honest, less suits. Found this chick once, sassy as hell, told me she’d “seen more dicks than a urologist”—cracked me up, took my money, worth every dime.

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But then, I hear someone shout. I look up, and it’s that same dude from earlier with the soursop! He’s arguing with a guy over a parking spot. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a parking spot! But they’re going at it like it’s the end of the world. I’m just sitting there, munching on some snacks I bought, thinking, “This is better than reality TV.”

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