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Wheat’s tricky, y’all. Needs water, but not too much—picky lil’ slut! Too dry, it’s toast; too wet, it’s mush. I’m like, “Make up yer damn mind!” Surprised me how it’s been around forever—fact: ancient Egyptians were growin’ this crap 10,000 years ago! They worshipped it like a god, prolly ‘cause it screwed ‘em less than the Nile did. Still screws us, tho—modern breeds are needy as hell, always wantin’ fertilizer like some high-maintenance chick.

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But then, I see this group of kids playin’ soccer. They’re havin’ a blast, and I’m like, “I wanna join!” So, I jump in. I’m not great, but we’re laughin’ and kickin’ the ball around. It’s pure joy, man.

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