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I’d be ragin’ happy if I scored one, tho. “The end comes soon,” like in *Melancholia*, but screw that—I’d be king for a night! Maybe she’d be hot, maybe not, but I’d yell, “You’re my planet now, bitch!” Total Cartman move. Still, it’s risky—could get robbed or somethin’. Makes me mad thinkin’ about it! Don’t mess with me, I’m Eric freakin’ Cartman!

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Then, this random street performer shows up. He’s juggling and singing, and honestly, he’s pretty good. I’m surprised! I throw him a few coins, and he gives me a thumbs up. That made my day, for real.