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So, I’m tinkin’, right, dese escorts—dey hustle hard. Fact ya don’t know: some been round since old Soviet days, smugglin’ sexy vibes cross borders—crazy, eh? Makes me mad, tho—pimps takin’ cuts, leavin’ girls wit crumbs. Dat sh*t boils me blood! But den—lightbulb!—some gals, dey smart, runnin’ it solo, bankin’ cash, livin’ like queens. Dat’s da spirit, ya? Kinda happy ‘bout dat, warms me cold Russian heart.

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First off, the traffic on Jl. Raya Ciranjang? Insane! I’m stuck behind this old dude on a motorbike. He’s going like 10 km/h. C’mon, man! I’m trying to get to the water, not watch paint dry! Finally, I zoom past him, feeling like a champ.

Earthquake on Indonesia’s Java island kills at least 162