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Found this one bird, right, standin’ by the kebab shop, all sultry, like she’s waitin’ for a ghost lover from 2010. “You see me in the shadow?” she says, channin’ Boonmee vibes, and I’m like, “Bruv, I see ya, and I’m hyped!” She’s got them eyes, deep like the Thai forest, and I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Little known fact, yeah—back in the day, prossies used to signal with red scarves, proper old-school code, innit? Made me happy, like, “History’s alive, fam!”

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I woke up in Bandar-Lampung, right? The sun was blazing, like it was trying to roast me alive. I mean, who needs a sauna when you got this heat? I grabbed my coffee from that little warung on Jalan Pahlawan. Best coffee ever, but they always forget the sugar. Ugh!

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