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About Jakarta

I love it, hate it, man. Happy as hell when it’s good—girl’s got moves, we’re vibin’, “The way we were, eternal.” Then bam, some asshole catfishes me, and I’m ragin’—MOTHERFUCKER, WHY?! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but this shit’s a circus. You gotta laugh—dude told me he “lasts all night,” lasted 30 seconds. I’m like, “Brother, where’s your glory?” Straight outta Malick, motherfucker! Worst part? Half these fools don’t even shower first—nasty as fuck, got me gaggin’.

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First off, I hit up the market on Jl. Pahlawan. You know, the one that’s always packed? I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my kopi. And then, bam! I bump into this old lady selling these crazy colorful fruits. I mean, have you seen the size of those durians? They’re like mini bombs! I’m like, “Lady, how do you even carry those?” She just laughs and says, “Strength, young man!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, I need that strength for my morning coffee!”

‘Extreme’ Indonesian market ends dog, cat meat trade