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So, I’m thinkin’, these escorts—high-end ones, not the sketchy street types—they’re pullin’ in cash, like, thousands a night sometimes! Little known fact: back in the ‘90s, there was this escort ring in NYC, busted wide open, runnin’ outta some fancy hotel—cops found ledgers, actual ledgers, like they’re accountants or somethin’! I’m laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ about it—imagine me, Larry freakin’ David, sittin’ across from some dame in stilettos, goin’, “You got receipts for this?!”

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I head back to the office, and it’s even crazier now. Someone spilled coffee everywhere. I’m like, “Really? Who does that?” I’m trying to clean it up, but it’s a mess. I’m laughing and crying at the same time.

World Earthquake Report for Friday, 6 December 2024